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[Jul. 16th, 2007|11:14 am] |
Soooooo.... Livejournal.
A lot has changed since I wrote you last. It has been far too long.
Summer is just grand. Mexico was a blast. We did a lot of work to further the Tlapaneco Bible Pastors School in Tlapa, and much to encourage the churches in the mountains. Glory to God for that. I also had a lot of fun with that Mexican flu that I got the week after... but who said God's ministry was supposed to be easy anyway?
Hanging out with everybody has been weird lately, what with a break up, and an interesting set of circumstances with a hook up. Relationships wreck everything, they just cause a lot of undue awakardness and hurt. I hate them.
Camp Good News was amazing as always. The speeding ticket on the way there may take my lisence from me. Have to go to Whiteville on August 9 for going 61 in a 45 in a speed trap. The speed limit was 60, then instantly became 45 after going over a hill. I had no time to slow down. I will just have to beg for the judge's mercy.
The church is in an interesting state. I wonder sometimes if my ideas are too radical for what the American church is used to. First Evan is doing well I would say. Our youth group is as stale and lifeless as ever. If we really think this whole God is our passion thing is true, then why are we not worshiping with joy, serving on a regular basis, and being real with one another? If I can't be real with my church about my struggles, which have been killing me lately, then who can I be real with?
Reading God's word on Sunday, then acting another way during the week is no new problem. If we could be open and honest about our sins in church, I think we could encourage eachother to do better, and pray for one another better. At this point, we don't know how to pray for anyone. And if we ask someone about how we can pray for them, we get a very limited look into this person's life.
The American church is looking to be entertained. What we need is to be reminded of the simple truths of God's grace to us and stand amazed in the fact that God would put up with us, and humbly ask to be used by him to change our communities in whatever way possible, not because we feel like we should, but because it is our response to God's glory.
I shouldn't have a soap box like this. I am the most lukewarm of anyone.
You see the depths of our hearts, and you love us the same... |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 25th, 2007|03:54 pm] |
school is out
let's all shout
for reealll |
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| Sing a song of celebration, we will dance on the streets that are golden. |
[Jan. 29th, 2007|02:57 pm] |
So so so.
Last weekend =ed amazing. Skiing in Saint Louis aint exactly Colorado, but it was fun. I actually got somewhat decent at it this year. After falling a minimum of exactlyn 165,278 times, In went down the easiest slope possible, don't remember the color, and al of my self-esteem from skiing on level grund was gone. It literally took 15 minutes for Ben Fichthorn and Sean Hannah to get me down the slope. Funny times. We went to Lambert's afterwards. It was simply epic! After we broke several jaws with our rolls, I learned about Lew Potter and his "golden nuggets."
Ehhh... quite disturbing like.
Last week was one of the worst academic weeks of my life. I procrastinated out tha frame and my mid-six-week progress reports are showing the effects. I failed one test, forgot several homework assignments, and was way behind in everything. Luckily, I'm alive.
This weekend was great. Worked Friday night, went and volunteered at S.O.S. for most of the day, it was surprisingly a good time. We took down a chimney, scraped paint, raked, and more importantly, served our community. It's always fantastic to get out of my Bartlett/Poplar/Germantown bubble and see what life on the streets is really like. If I had the time, I would love to spend more time out there.
On Sunday, the worship was incredible. An audience of ONE!
Dr. Clark is resigning, don't know why yet. In a way it's surprising, in other ways, I could see it coming. We go through so many pastors....
I love our new youth pastor. He has so many fresh ideas. I think we're getting back on track. We're actually serving in ways that we never have, fun has been a huge result of us serving. It's so great to be involved in a group as active as ours.
When I have more time, I've got something I realy need to write. I need to get it out of my head before it's gone.
High School is ending faster than I realize. After High school, my relationships that I have with the friends I have now will never be the same. What I consider freedom after high school will end up being something far from it. I'm realizing how little I've enjoyed high school, and how so much that is my fault. I need to start getting involved in school, besides the classroom.
How can I NOT just live for the weekends? What would that look like in my life? How can I make my days count for something, even when I'm at school?
Teach me to count my days, so that I may acquire a heart of wisdom. |
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| All the girls and the boys and people makin' noise, lemme hear you shout BRING 'EM OUT BRING 'EM OUT |
[Jan. 15th, 2007|11:16 pm] |
Quick before bed update
Christ break = incredible. I wish I could talk about everything that happened, but I enjoyed it muchly.
Friday night I worked, then came home about 9 and watched some movies with my mom, yeah my mom has some interesting choices, lemme tell ya.
Saturday I had to get up at 6:45 to go to an all day driving course due to the fender bender I had in September. Still payin for it. It was 50 bucks and lasted all day. It was basically a bunch of movies, Power points and lectures on better driving and a lot of "horror stories." But yeah, I'm like so much better at driving now. Got the heck outta there at 4 and went to the Garrison's to eat and hang out. Twas fun. Jeremy, the ne youth pastor, was there.
Sunday was church/chillax time. That night I went to Winterjam in Southaven. It exceeded my expectations. Sanctus Real got jipped, only like 4 songs. They are so good. I strongly reccomend their new album, "The Face of Love." Hawk Nelson was good, besides all the screaming girls. Jeremy Camp was surprisingly good and Newsong is good for a bunch of old guys.
Today was chillin and sleepin til 11, woo woo!
Dad's working nights, and now I'm realizing how blessed I am to even have a dad. I just realized that I haven't even seen in in over 5 days, yet we live in the same house. Weird/sad.
H'ok, I am done. Oh yeah, skiing in St. Louis this weekend. I am looking forward to that. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 30th, 2006|06:08 pm] |
When you look at the world
What is it that you see?
People find all kinds of things
That bring them to their knees
I see an expression
So clear and so true
That changes the atmosphere
When you walk into the room
So I try to be like you
Try to feel it like you do
But without you it's no use
I can't see what you see
When I look at the world
When the night is someone else's
And you're trying to get some sleep
When your thoughts are too expensive
To ever wanna keep
When there's all kinds of chaos
And everyone is walking lame
You don't even blink now do you
Or even look away
So I try to be like you
Try to feel it like you do
But without you it's no use
I can't see what you see
When I look at the world
I can't wait any longer
I can't wait 'till I'm stronger
Can't wait any longer
To see what you see
When I look at the world
I'm in the waiting room
Can't see for the smoke
I think of you and your holy book
When the rest of us choke
Tell me, tell me, what do you see?
Tell me, tell me what's wrong with me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 30th, 2006|06:46 am] |
Has anyone ever felt, for seemingly no reason, dis-like or bad feelings towards someone that you never really hang out with anyway?
You see them, and it wrecks your night, when it really shouldn't?
Probably not. Because I am weird, and I belong in an endless world of highschool, apparently.
Persistently strive for peace with all men, and for that growth in holiness apart from which no one will see the Lord.
Hebrews 12:14 |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 29th, 2006|06:55 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Number One Gun | ] |
Does anything ever change?
So. Christmas. It came and went like THAT.
THAT = Very quickly
I never got into that "Christmas spirit," that I usually get into. By the way, what exactly is "The Christmas spirit?" And uhhh, since when have going shopping, hearing tired, corny songs and looking at snowflakes had anything to do with being in the right Christmas spirit? I was pondering that the other day, and I concluded with a simple question.
What's the point?
Jesus!
Celebrate your Holiday of choice with your family and remember why you're off of school and why the year is the year 2006.... A.D.
Why?
Jesus!
Christmas was simply delightful. I love my family, it's so much fun to get together with them once a year, even if it is only 11 of us, just eating and talking together is just great. I have so much to learn from those older than me.
Dad got a new job, working nighttimes, I miss seeing him more. I do not respect my parents enough. Simply because they're my parents, I should, but also, I always think of a job as something you just do, not a hard-worked sacrifice to support a family. I realize that one day, I'll be going to work every day. Weird. :/
Today's churches discourage me greatly. What is it that we want from the church?
With what happened at GBC and now Bellevue is so tragic. How can petty divisions honor God at all?
At FEC alone, our focus is so off it's.... it's just discouraging... I struggle so much with this stuff in my own heart. Should I be worrying about my church and its state, or should I be worrying about myself first? Or both?
At Fe, so many people complain about the lights being out in Newsong, the traditional service being too stale, the music being too loud in Newsong and us focusing too much on "fashion" in Newsong. SO MANY PEOPLE freakin complain about so much stuff... it's unbelieveable how child-like some people can be.
But then again, can the things that I look on as petty really be important? Like, maybe the music is too loud and there isn't enough solitude in Newsong. And maybe the traditional service needs some enthusiasm, maybe we focus too much on the atmosphere in Newsong, maybe...
OR MAYBE, just maybe... we don't need two services. I so wish we could worship TOGETHER. If the music is God-honoringly worshipful, who cares what the style is? Both styles have some amazing works of music and song.
Ugh... it just seems that when Jesus left his apostles with starting the church, He didn't mean for things to be so complicated. It just seems like the church should be so much simpler than it is, as far as the arguments, different aspects of church-life, etc.
I SO have a huge feeling that if everyone stopped worrying about their own interests and looked to God as the only reason the church exists, 95% of the problems the church faces would completely DISAPPEAR. So many of those problems are internal, like, about stuff happening within the church doors or with church programs. It'd be nice having problems with, let's say, for instance, running out of food because we've given so much of it away to the homeless.
Think about it. A church so completely OBSESSED with God that it can't see itself, only Christ. OBSESSED to the point of being a walking, talking, serving, discipling, soul-saving body, and not a business.
Anyway, after a rant like that, I'm off to bed. The rest of this break will consist of eating, drinking, being merry and hanging out with friends/family and maybe spending some Christmas money.
Oh yeah, check out my Christmas present...
Bands that I'm diggin lately:
Sanctus Real
Hillsong
Number One Gun
LECRAE!!!! (Fantastic Christian rap, this guy is the real thing).
Mewithoutyou
David Crowder Band (as always) One thing though, I cannot stand when band try to play their songs. NO ONE can. They cannot be re-done. Nobody likes them because they've heard a youth band play their stuff and it doesn't sound good, but their CD's are so freakin good.
Oh yeah... we got a new youth pastor... a guy named Jeremy from Texas, he'll be here January 10th. He's cool, I like him.
Lance... miss that dude... but once again, I'm complaining. God's will is supreme. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 7th, 2006|02:47 am] |
I can pretty safely say that I have never had a better time praying with a group of people than tonight
Incredible |
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| What have I become? |
[Nov. 25th, 2006|06:17 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Mewithoutyou | ] |
Thank God for breaks, I for real needed one.
Basically I've just been sleeping, working, reading and hanging out with people. Some guys from the youth group went to a buffet Tuesday night, wasn't bad. Then a few of us went to try mixing mentos and Diet Coke. It was pretty amusing I must say.
Wednesday... hung out with family.
Thursday I went to church, then feasted, tried to give thanks.
Today was the turkey bowl. It was pretty fun. There is something seriously wrong with our youth group (More on that below).
I'm getting a serious raise at work, which is awesome. I might be making $7.00 before long, which will be helpful in getting my car fixed, yes...
My quiet times are basically non-existent. I'm suffering because of it.
I need to start running again.
Our youth group NEVER changes. We do the same stuff year after year, so no one is excited about anything. No one, and I speak to myself, tried to involve the un-churched with anything that we do. We do a terrible job of outreach as a whole. We do a terrible job at evangelism as a whole. We, myself included, are too hung up over appearances.
I would so love to get to the point where I can express myself freely in worship regardless of who's next to me. What does David say in the Psalms?
"Let the people praise his name in festive dance, make music with tambourine and lyre!"
I would so love to dance and worship on Wednesdays. Maybe I'm weird, but I enjoy moving while I worship.
We must start serving our church. Especially the elders. They come in every week and serve us by making the church go, service. We need to give back. I for real want to go rake some yards and go caroling before Christmas. We need to help the poor too. S.O.S. maybe?
More outreach too. E.E. or or open air evangelism. In eternity it won't matter if I get made fun of for witnessing, what will matter is who is in hell and who is with the LORD.
I just think we're spiritually cold. I dunno, maybe I'm too hard on myself or our youth group. I just have these ideas sometimes, and I think they're good ones. But I dunno, it's just my thoughts. Hopefully with the coming of a pastor this stuff will happen.
Otherwise, life is monotonous, crazy things happen, but life moves so fast that I forget to write them down.
Life is so weird. Sometimes I am so glad with the friends and people I'm with. Then, other times I wonder why I am where I am, and how it makes no sense. I dunno. Weird.
I haven't been to a local show in forever. I haven't seen any of those people in forever. My fault or not? Dunno. If anyone is free this weekend. let's kick it
I for real still think about Venezuela and all of those people all the time. I want to go back, especially if Chavez loses the elections on December 3rd. I need to pray about that.
Time goes by and God knows I try to carry on with life
Decide not to hide feelings inside, even though they hurt
Sometimes, I forget to remember you
It's easy to lock away the pains, don't want to relive it through
But I stay strong, you taught me how to move on in this world ...
I'm thinking about forever... missing you
I know you're so much better..... we made it through
Now I know what it means to live for someone else
To give up yourself
Things have changed, at times it gets kind of strange
Your love remains the same
Do I make you proud? Man can you see me now?
Whatever is good in me is because you showed me how to take love by the hand
And so now I can share you with the world
So that it can understand
I'm thinking about forever.... missing you
I know you're so much better.... we made it through
I'm thinking about forever.... missing you
I'm tripping on whatever.... hearing you |
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| Who is man that you are mindful of him? |
[Nov. 23rd, 2006|08:23 pm] |
Give thanks to the LORD
For HE is good
HIS love endures forever
God I thank you for...
The fragile life you gave me
I pray that you'll show me that only you endure
The family I am in
Prepare me to lead my own one day
For the sun, moon, stars and universe
I thank you that Jesus shines brighter and purer than all the angels heaven can boast!
For food, clothing, a house and comfort
Teach me to be thankful as a starving, naked, homeless hobo
For sleep
You alone let me dwell in safety
For the riches you've given me
Teach me to see that joy goes beyond material things
Your church and its encouragement
Stop me from being only on the receiving end
Your people: my brothers and sisters, and spiritual parents that mirror your face
I pray that I, too, can be an example as fallen as I am
For the cross
Never let it lose its power in my life
For the resurrection
For release from sin and death
Let me take advantage over my sins
For the mansion being prepared for me
Let me bring multitudes with me
Heaven with you
Let me be sobered when I think about where the World is going
And who they are going to be with
For school
Prepare me for my future job
For music
It reminds me of how you sing over me
For chances to share my joy
God have mercy on me for missed opportunities
For a free country
Let us not take it for granted
For persecution...
And I pray for more
For love
True love doesn't exist outside of you
Ever...
For hope
Because it never disappoints
For joy in happiness and sorrow
For chaos
You always find me
For confusion
It always leads me back to you
For memories, feelings and emotions
For community
For Life everlasting
Give thanks to the God of heaven
His love endures forever |
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| Jerusalem... our happy home |
[Oct. 10th, 2006|03:24 am] |
So my 4 day "fall break" was pretty much awesome.
Thursday I worked, late. Cool.
Friday I hung out, did some work for my grandmother. That night I went up to church to tailgate for the CBHS vs. MUS game, but I was not so into going to that game so me and Ben went out to Singelton to see The Raleigh Symphony and The Holiday play. It's so great to see bands play and just have a ton of fun doing it. It's refreshing to see bands that play for the music, the fun, and the relationships, not the money, power or fame. Fo real.
Saturday I woke up way too early for our soccer game. We won 3-2, woot. Soccer is good stuff. After soccer we went out to eat and then I went to work, again.
Sunday was church. I'm trying to see past the discontentment, lies, rumors and anger in our church and in my own heart towards the church and just worship. I/we need to see that that's what it's all about, and see that the problems we have stem from not putting simple worship and teaching first and only.
That afternoon we attempted to play ultimate, and after getting bored me and a few guys went and surprised a few random people at their houses (haha), then went to the store and bought junk and went to Sean Hannah's house with Jordan, Sean, David B. and David D. We watched Shaun of the Dead, it was funny, and I have never heard the F-word used so many times in one movie. After that we had a ton of fun with... well two-liters. hah.
Monday I did nothing.
And yeah, I'm sure that was entertaining.
The New mewithoutyou album is absolutely scrumtrulessant. I appreciate their singer's lyrics more than most of the other bands that I listen to. It's gonna be great to see them next week. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 5th, 2006|11:41 pm] |
OK, so this weekend is "fall break." Basically, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday off.
Now most of you have this same thing next weekend and will be having all kinds of crazy fun times.
So if anyone feels like being nice, and like including the early fall breaker, HERE IS YOUR CHANCE.
I am doing nothing this weekend. It's gonna be depressing.
Let's hang this weekend. What's everyone doing
I love you? |
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| hey hey, can you hear anything I say? |
[Oct. 2nd, 2006|03:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  Caffeined!!! | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Number One Gun | ] |
So so, Friday was a half day, I definetly skipped that
This weekend was Run The River time. I went early on Friday to help set up.
It was pretty much a fantastic weekend. Good nature. Good friends. Simplicity. A great God.
There is something so fresh and clean about a river that fascinates me. I don't know why, but I love rivers.
I canoed with Kyle, the possible new pastor. He was pretty cool, nothing radical, but cool.
This weekend I was definetly challenged to spend more time with my heavenly father. And to MAKE time to do that, not just do it in spare time. Satan will definetly cut away from that spare time to keep me away from God.
Whenever I come back from retreats, I never want to go back to school. While they're encouraging, it's always discouraging to go back to the world. Blah.
I've never realized it more than now, I need to play an instrument. I would simply love to play the guitar, that would just be awesome. I would never have the time or money for it, but it's a dream.
This weekend I got to hang with some people that I had really wanted to hang out with. I don't hang out with church people as much as I'd like to.
I have come to the realization that no matter how many times you ask ceratin people for something, or to do something, or how many times you beat your sentiments into their heads, they still just don't get it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 26th, 2006|09:44 pm] |
So so... 'sup my audience of 3?
The first 6 weeks is over, I got 4 B's, 1 C and 1 D. I definetly slacked off in Algebra, math has never been a strong point of mine.
I am more stressed, YET more happy and peace-filled than I have ever been. I am trying to pray without ceasing. Not constantly praying, but constantly being aware that God is right there with me and His will is going to be done in my life. If you don't know Jesus, I seriously would reccomend it, it's an incredible life.
Church is kinda blah without a youth pastor. Church people get on my nerves at times. There is a major problem with our worship. We're either too afraid of what other people will think when we "get into worship," or were just not getting into it all. Myself included.
I am looking forward to getting into nature and running the river this weekend. It will be simply incredible.
I've been thinking lately about what I should be doing with my life, especially since college is less than 2 years away. Weird thoughts. And I am terrified of choosing what I want to major in, I have no idea. But I suppose I'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow.
Until next time, YOU stay classy Livejournal.
I need a song to sing you, that I've yet to find. I need you. I need you to be here now.... I need you to hear me now.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 21st, 2006|02:51 pm] |
Frustrating to say the least...
I work my freakin butt off in school, and I'm still barely passing
And the people who never do anything have 90s
How does that work? |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 18th, 2006|03:31 pm] |
Has anyone (An FEC person) ever noticed how spiritually dead our group has become?
Our worship doesn't seem real
Each week we hear a message that makes us feel good, or teaches us how to live our life
Nobody, even Lance, except maybe Rad Andrews has ever challenged, convicted or preached repentance to us.
It's all about show, tradition and fun
There are maybe 4 people that have come into the group in the last 4 years, ridiculous, but maybe not.
We need something more. We need to see God as the most amazing thing ever, something we want to run into the streets screaming about. Something so exciting that we'll dance and sing in the joy that we have.
But we, and our group, has to be cool. And apparently that's what matters. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 9th, 2006|02:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  chillin | ] |
Sooooo, yeah Life....
School is pretty lame right now. I try like crazy to get the stuff, and I still end up doing bad. I'm not faling any classes, but I'm close in one or two. 70% ain't always easy to get. And when you're at school all day, have to work, then come home and do more homework, delirium and sleep deprivation ensue. Thank God for sleepy Saturdays!!!
I want a new job, now.
Life is so crazy, I wish I could understand everything that happens.
The youth group has actually been doing OK without Lance around. Some possible guys are gonna be preaching in the coming weeks. Should be interesting.
I'm playin soccer for church, woot!
I got in an interesting car accident the other day... www.blog.myspace.com/speck777
I'm actually really excited about football season, tonight is the Tigers game woot!
And yeah, this post is done, I will spare you from more boredom.
Sometimes I just want t walk up to people and slap them in the face to get some sense into them.
I want to be a kind brother that he can be honest, open and accountable with. I am really, really, really worried about my brother... more like in agonizing fear and sadness for my brother... I am so worried |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 26th, 2006|01:07 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Coldplay | ] |
Soooo What's up people?
With the recent onslaught of posts, I thought I'd join the club!
Summer was fantastic, I enjoyed it thoroughly.
The summer ended two weeks ago, and again I'm totally bummed that school is happening again this year.
All of my classes are super hard, all honors:
2nd- U.S. Government... (cool teacher, used to work with Young Life)
3rd- English III
4th- French III (ugh)
5th- Etymology (that makes three languages I'm studying!!)
6th- Algebra II... (spells trouble)
7th- Chemistry... (teacher uses all kind mac software, cool.....)
Anyway, cool profs and peeps in my classes. I definetly just startedon summer reading, which is due Monday. I read about 150 pages yesterday to finish "A Farewell to Arms." Now I've gotta read 230 pages to finish "The Bean Trees." Woo woo... long weekend.
John Martinez is at Chick Fil A now, and a bunch of First Evan people are gonna start working there now. Fun stuff.
Things that are going on at First Evan are troubling me. The changes seem small, but the Elders definetly went back on their word, and sometimes I wonder if we are just chasing after more people.
I've been reading, "Revival's Golden Key" by Kirk Camereon and it is fantastic. It basically says that the big problem of church today is that we always talk about the good life that God gives, or that God loves everybody, or we always teach how to live a better life, etc, etc, etc. And we say, "Come to Jesus," but we never mention repentance or hell. Nobody is going to change their lives and come to God unless they see that the life they're living now is a problem to God. They need to repent to see their need of God.
I need to repent to see my need for God. I went through the Ten Commandments the other day, and I realized that (literally) I have broken evey single one. Then I basically realized what a fallen person I am, and I felt like repenting again. Churches need to do the same, I think it would help with a lot of the problems the modern church has. God honors the faithfulness and morality of His people... and He doesn't honor us when we act just like the world.
Anyway, I'm not preaching, I just loved the book.
TGS, will you bring this fine post to a close?
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 30th, 2006|03:28 pm] |
Man... this summer has rocked the socks... and it ain't over yet!!!
This is by far the best summer in forever, nothing like the lame summers of the past.
I had my birthday a few weeks ago, it was a good time
Working, swimming, hangin out, watchin movies, ministering, playin, and just chillin... not much boredom!
I've been hanging out with a lot of work/church people all summer, a lot of them younger than me. It's weird, I don't wanna hang out with the people that I always thought I wanted to. Looking back, I mean, I still wouldn't mind hanging out with that group, but I realize now how lame they were to me, and in general. I haven't seen, talked to or hung out with them all summer, and it's cool! I've enjoyed this summer with some awesome folks.
I bought David Crowder's new CD, they are so good, seriously check 'em out for some awesome worship.
I made my first movie and showed it today, the Mexico video. Wasn't terrible, I think it was prety good for my first movie. I'd love to make more, I-Movie is so great.
DUDE! John Martinez left For The Kingdom Camp :(.... BUT! He's gonna be a manager at our Chick Fil A! This is gonna be great.
I got a cell, mines is 340-2997, what's yours?
Work, play, and then tubing at the end of this week, then one more week of summer after that.... there won't be any regrets about my summer when I walk through those school doors on august 14th
whew...
Praise the Lord, for HE is good... |
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